Digging a Hole Read online

  The door opens and a pair of silvery eyes greet me. His stubble is extra thick and dark. His face looks tired, like he hasn’t slept. Yet, he’s more beautiful than ever.

  “Hi,” I say.

  “What are you doing here, Georgie?”

  “Can I come in?”

  He stares down at me for a long intense moment, but ultimately steps aside.

  I enter and immediately notice the house is quiet. “Where’s Joy?”

  “At the park with my sister-in-law.”

  “I’ve met Erin. She’s nice.”

  “When?” he asks.

  “It’s a long story.” I sit on his overstuffed khaki couch, and my ass is greeted with a squeak. I reach under and pull out a googly-eyed stuffed squirrel. Warrior squirrel?

  “It’s Miss Nutso,” Sam says. “Joy’s favorite.”

  Of course it is. I smile and set the squirrel on the coffee table. “That reminds me, I brought something for you.” I reach into my bag and pull out my light gray teddy bear. It’s the kind with an oversized head and a stoic smile. It’s a serious teddy bear, meant only for the most serious of conversations and situations.

  “You got me a used teddy bear?” Still standing, he takes it reluctantly.

  “Oh, that’s not used. That’s years of love and tears and several cycles through the wash.” I shrug. “Because people snot a lot when they cry. But Teddy held up, and now he’s yours.”

  Sam sets the bear on the table beside Miss Nutso and folds his arms over his chest. “Georgie, what do you want?”

  “I was thinking how hard it must be, carrying all of your emotions bottled up inside. I used to do it, too, and I know what it feels like, so I thought you might need a friend.” I glance at the bear. “Besides, I’m done with him. I prefer people now. The conversations are a bit more satisfying—no offense, Teddy.”

  “I’m thirty-one, Georgie. I’m perfectly capable of handling my life like a grown man.”

  “Thirty-one? Jesus, you are old.” Of course, I’m only kidding, and he looks so damned good, he could easily pass for late twenties. Nevertheless, I need to make a point.

  He narrows his eyes. “I’m not old.”

  “Nope. You’re super old. And stubborn. And strong, sexy, frustratingly loyal, and passionate. And you’re deep.” I nod. “Yeah. I think that’s what I like most about you. At first I thought it was bitterness in your eyes, but now I know you have the eyes of a man who’s seen a lot. He’s been through everything horrible this world has to offer.” Like war, the death of his wife, being left to raise a little girl when his heart is filled with anger. “So I’m here, sitting on your couch, offering you a do-over. You can have a new life and fresh start. With me. You’ll see what it’s like to have nothing but good things waiting for you. Or…” I look at Teddy. “You can have him because you won’t let go of the past and choose to keep it all bottled up. He’s very absorbent,” I add. “Holds lots of tears and snot.”

  “So,” Sam says, his face nothing but hard, cold planes, looking the part of the tough ex-Marine, “you’re saying my choices are to date a naïve, twenty-one-year-old college student who doesn’t know the first thing about the fucked-up world we live in because she only knows a life of privilege, or…I can choose a snotty, ratty stuffed animal.”

  “Teddy is clean. But, yes. Minus the naïve part. And the part where you said I don’t know anything. Because I do. I’ve merely chosen to let the bad stuff go and focus on the joy of being alive despite my father almost killing me, the FBI having me and my family arrested, and feeling like I didn’t matter and never would for the first twenty-one years of my life.” I shrug. “Other than that, though, I’m a fucking catch.”

  “That was an excellent sales pitch, Georgie. But you forgot one key point.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “You’re supposed to start with the bad stuff first, just like I taught you. You were supposed to say that you’ll never forgive me for running out on you after we had sex. You were supposed to say that you’ll never forgive me for not warning you that they were coming to arrest you.”

  “That’s the bad part, so what’s the good news?” He told me once that a good sales pitch saves the best for last.

  “The good news is that I resigned two minutes after I left Henry’s apartment when my director told me what they planned to do since I came up empty-handed. Then I made it clear I would testify on your behalf—and on Elle’s and Henry’s too—if they went after you.”

  He did that? For us? It does explain why everything happened so fast today after the meeting. They already knew they couldn’t win, just as I suspected. What I hadn’t known was that Sam had been pushing behind the scenes to make sure I’d be okay, and he did it at the expense of everything he’s spent years working for.

  He protected me. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

  Still standing on the other side of the coffee table, Sam’s posture softens. He looks up at the ceiling and inhales, like he’s summoning courage.

  Finally, he looks at me with those piercing eyes. “When Kate died, I hid my pain for the sake of Joy, and I believed I would never stop feeling so angry. But then I met you and saw how brave you were. You faced every bit of pain head-on and you didn’t give up, not even when I was the biggest asshole in the world to you. You kept going and fighting for yourself, and I think because of that, you made me want to fight, too.”

  My eyes tear, and I find myself unable to speak. There’s just too much emotion in my heart, hearing Sam’s confession. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable, yet all I see is his strength. He’s speaking from his heart, and for a man like him, I know it’s not easy.

  He continues, “So the good news of my sales pitch isn’t for you, but for me. Because the moment you were arrested, I thought you’d never forgive me. And then, suddenly, living for revenge didn’t make sense anymore. All I could think about was you—how I’d lost you because I fucked up. If only I had let go of my fucking anger, I could’ve saved you from all that. I would’ve been able to work something out with the FBI a long time ago.” He rubs his bristly chin. “But by some miracle, here you are, asking me to be a part of your life, and that’s better than good news. It’s a goddamned miracle.” He takes a breath. “Because I admire you, Georgie. I desire you, too. But most of all, I love you.”

  My heart starts beating a million miles an hour, and I feel light-headed. He gave up years of work and his job to help me. He fought even when he thought I’d never want to see him again.

  Wow. I had come here today expecting to profess my love and beg him to take one step forward with me. Instead, he tells me he loves me more than revenge, more than his hate. Which, frankly, says a whole hell of a lot.

  I think that good news was for me. Because while Sam might not be all soft edges and tenderness, he is the sort of man who will always believe in me, and now I know he’ll always fight for me, too. Simply put, there is nothing sexier in this world than a guy like that. Ohmygod. I so love him.

  Still seated on his khaki couch, I gaze up into those emotionally charged eyes and lift my shoulders.

  “Did you just shrug?” he asks. “After I tell you I love you, that’s your response?”

  I shrug again, trying to hold back a smile. It doesn’t work.

  “You know I hate it when you shrug.”

  “Do you?” I shrug.

  He licks his lips. “Yeah.”

  “What are you going to do about it?” Shrug, shrug.

  He steps around the coffee table. “Wanna find out? I dare you to shrug one more time.”

  I look up at him with a wicked little grin. Shrug.

  He grabs my wrist, yanks me to my feet, and throws me over his shoulder. “You’re not drunk this time, so spanking is fair game.”

  “Oh. A spanking! A spanking,” I say in my best British accent, laughing.

  He carries me into his bedroom and sets me on my feet, next to the bed. “You know I’d never hit you.”

  �
�Dammit! I was kind of hoping.” I crack a smile.

  “You’re really into that?”

  “Nah. I think I’ve taken enough beatings. I’m really ready for a pain-free life.” My smile melts away. “I really just want to move on. And I really, really want to do it with you. And Joy—I mean, I know that I’m no substitute for her mother, but I think I could be a positive influence in her life.” At the very least, I know what not to do when it comes to children. My father taught me well. “We all deserve a fresh start. I think we need it.”

  As Sam stares down at me, I see the emotion stirring behind those light gray eyes. Funny, I once thought they were lifeless. Now all I see is life. My life.

  “I still don’t get why the hell you’d want me after everything that’s happened,” he says.

  “Because I love you,” I say quietly.

  He slides his hand to the nape of my neck. “You’re making it really difficult to say yes to that teddy bear.”

  “What if I said you could have us both?”

  He smiles. “Then I’d have to say it’s an offer I can’t refuse.”

  His mouth covers mine, and the heat spikes through my body. I lean into him, savoring his silky lips and the feel of his strong body pressed to mine. The pulses and sinful aches explode like a bomb, crashing through me. I want him. I want him so badly it hurts.

  I pull back and whip off my shirt. Next I kick off my heels and start removing my pants. Meanwhile, he’s stripping like a man whose clothes are on fire. It takes us a handful of seconds to get naked and for our mouths to be reunited in a fiery kiss that burns through me. He guides me back onto the bed, where he settles between my thighs. His hard, hot body feels delicious against my soft curves.

  His wild kiss slows, and then he pulls back his head to stare into my eyes. “Tell me what you want. You’re in charge now.”

  Yes! Little old me is finally having my day! “I think I’d like to hear you say you love me again. And then I’d like us to be happy until we’re old and gray. Though you’ll get there faster than me, but you get the—”

  “Never mind. I’ll take the lead.” His mouth is relentless as he kisses me with everything he’s got. His hands roam and massage and glide over my taut nipples like he’s memorizing every curve within reach. My hands float over the smooth strong muscles of his back and go instinctively to the one spot I know will tell him what I need. I cup the two velvety mounds of his rock-hard ass and urge him to enter me. It’s an invitation he can’t resist because he adjusts his shaft, placing the soft head at my entrance. I’m already one inch from exploding. More like eight inches.

  “Don’t stop,” I pant.

  He hesitates for a moment, but then thrusts his hips and enters me with one smooth stroke.

  I let out a moan. It’s so much better this time. “More.”

  He withdraws and then sharply thrusts again. He breaks our kiss and watches me climbing toward the edge. Higher and higher. His pace becomes a steady rhythm of deep penetrations. He’s thick and long, and every movement of his cock creates the most delicious friction. Meanwhile, his mouth moves to my neck, and his hands massage my breasts and stroke my outer thighs. His body writhes with pleasure, working over me, and my skin feels like a giant blanket of tingles. He’s everywhere—inside me, covering my body, and beating through my heart.

  “I love you,” I whisper, unable to articulate the blissful sensation any other way.

  Suddenly, I’m combusting, my body shattering into a hundred carnal contractions that paralyze me. He’s relentless with his pistoning hips as I come, hammering out every last orgasmic spasm.

  “Fuck.” He groans so loud his voice echoes through the bedroom. I feel his cock twitch inside me, releasing his cum, and it sparks one more delicious wave of euphoria.

  Panting, he begins moving slowly while kissing me. I love the feel of his bare slick cock stroking my sensitive bud, and I don’t ever want this to end because as unaccustomed as I am to intimacy—a man being inside me, holding me, kissing me—I know there’s nothing more beautiful than this. Being with the right man.

  He stops kissing me for a moment and stares into my eyes. “I choose the bear.”

  “What?”

  He cracks a smile. “He’s really cute. So…”

  “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

  His smile melts away. “You know I love you, Georgie.”

  I bob my head. “Yeah. I do.”

  “Good. Because if we’re going to make this work, you can’t have any doubts.”

  I know he’s not just talking about him and me. There’s Joy, too. And despite my inexperience with kids, I know it will be a challenge learning how to be a part of their family. But I love Sam and I know I’ll love his little girl. That’s all I need.

  “You can’t have any doubts either,” I say, “because you’ll be part of my family, too.”

  The warmth in Sam’s eyes dissipates while that plays out in his head. Henry still wants to kill him. “I look forward to not dying.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Six Months Later.

  It’s our first Christmas together as a new family, and oh boy, where do I start?

  My father was proven to be a major asshole, but sane, and is now serving thirty years in prison. Henry and I testified at the trial, and though I thought I would feel some sense of closure, I realized that a part of me will always hurt. It can’t be helped. A child, no matter how old, will always wonder why her father didn’t love him or her enough to make a different choice. The irony for me, and maybe for my siblings, too, is that it’s made us all so grateful for the love we do have. We’re closer than we ever were.

  Michelle and Chewy are expecting their first baby in the spring. Claire, my oldest sister, is single but has decided to adopt and is currently on several waiting lists. She says her perfect man will have to fit in with her life and not the other way around—perhaps a result of growing up with Chester Walton, who tried to bend and mold us to fit into his life.

  My mother is officially divorced, single, and likely to remain so, but I don’t know if she’s happy or sad about it. Georgina Walton Senior is not the sort of woman to show weakness, but she does show kindness in her own way.

  “Come here, you little rat,” my mother says with a smile on her face while she makes claws at Joy. “I’m going to eat you.”

  “Mom,” I warn.

  “What?” My mom gives me a look. “Have you ever seen a cuter little girl? I just want to eat her up!”

  Joy, who’s wearing a red dress and has her dark curly hair in pigtails, laughs. My mother swoops her up and carries her off to the kitchen to check on dinner, which she’s decided to cook herself this year. It’s weird not having caterers, wait staff, and two hundred of my parents’ “closest” friends, like we did for years, but I love our new “family only” tradition.

  And our new and improved family. Which will only get better with time, especially since we started selling off all of the companies except for Elle’s baby, Algae-Tech, and PVP. Elle and Henry, who is now officially playing for the NFL, decided to keep PVP in order to make sure things keep running smoothly and the medicines get to where they are needed. We even started a charity under Sam’s wife’s name to help cancer patients with other medical costs, such as doctor visits and housing, while they undergo treatments. A lot of good has come out of my father’s misdeeds, which I know is a bigger punishment for him than sitting in a jail cell for the next three decades. He must hate knowing we’re spending “his” fortune on others.

  I smile at Sam, who’s sitting on the couch beside me in a black sweater and jeans, looking sexier than ever. His posture is less stiff these days, but he’s always on his guard, forever the protective man I love.

  “So, I have some news,” Sam says to me. “I finally found a new job.”

  “Really?” He took a long, long few months off to spend time with Joy. Okay, and with me. Then Erin, his sister-in-law, had her wedding, which we helped out with. Then Sa
m and I bought a really nice house in a neighborhood an equal distance from the university and from my mom and Claire’s. Erin and her new hubby, Logan, are at Sam’s old house, which they’re renting from him while they start out.

  Anyway, between all that, the trial, starting up at school again, and Sam getting used to being with a woman who is rich, wants to be a lawyer, and is continuing to find herself, well, it’s been a wild, insane journey. His consolation is that I make him have sex with me a lot. I mean, a lot. I can’t get enough of him, and he loves it. The man is constantly walking around with a big fat smile.

  “So what’s the job?” I ask.

  “I’m starting my own company. High-profile, celebrity security.”

  Huh? “You’re going to be a bodyguard?”

  He nods.

  “That is so hot.” I literally see him wearing his sexy badass suit, those mirrored sunglasses, and saying things like Hurt her and I’ll break your thumbs. He knows how to be scary.

  “My first client will be Mitch.”

  “The Bulge?” My jaw drops.

  Sam’s eyes narrow. “How do you know about his nickname?”

  “It’s only been in a thousand tabloids.” I laugh. “So why a bodyguard? Why not sales or something? You were so good at all that.”

  “Not really. All those rumors of my success were made up. Even my references were fake—compliments of the FBI.”

  Huh. Interesting. I suppose I’m not shocked. I already know he didn’t go to Yale, though after serving in the Marines, he did get a business degree from Dartmouth in New Hampshire, where he’s originally from. Later, he got a master’s in criminology and joined the FBI.

  “So how did you know so much about sales?” Because he certainly had me convinced.

  “I took a job selling industrial equipment after I got my business degree. My boss taught me everything I know.”

  Wow. “Why didn’t you ever mention this?” Not that we talk much about the past. It’s sort of an unsaid rule between us. We’re in love and we’ve committed to a fresh start together. So while the past can’t be completely avoided, we choose to look forward. For both our sakes and for Joy’s.