The Librarian's Vampire Assistant, Book 3 Read online

  I contentedly watch the two women giggling away, and then something happens. Miriam flips her long hair over her shoulder, and it’s in slow motion. The sun bounces off the golden hues of her silky blonde strands. She smiles, and it radiates from within, igniting a warmth deep inside my chest. Her soulful eyes twinkle with a keen awareness.

  So lovely. I’ve noticed there’s an intelligence in those eyes she tries to mask. Perhaps that is what lures me in. Her secrets make me feel like she is the mystery I was born to unlock.

  I stand there frozen, completely captivated. Breathless. Wondering how in the hell I am ever going to let her go, but knowing I must. Tonight we marry, and if I want to keep my sanity, I cannot let my heart wish for more than that. A ceremony. Not that she wants a real marriage, but if she did, it would not work. I am a vampire and she needs to stay human. Those two things do not mix.

  What Are Tasty Humans Saying About The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant Series?

  “A complex vampire mystery with laugh-out-loud moments and an utterly charming hero.”

  —Sara, @HarlequinJunkie

  “I’m addicted to Michael and his merry band of dysfunctional vampires. I giggled my way through this book and thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

  —Leigh, Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews, on The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant, Book 2

  “I have a weakness for Mimi Jean’s books. She must write with crack or something else equally addictive.”

  —Library Queens, on LVA

  “[Michael Vanderhorst] is absolutely hilarious, with Mimi’s awesome trademark one-liners that make you laugh out loud.”

  —Kathy, Ahmazing Book Faerie, on The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant

  “Just can’t stop smirking! Reading anything by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff leaves me in a better mood for hours!”

  —Tome Tender, on The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant, Book 2

  “This cozy vampire mystery is very different from what she has written before but is still very classic Mimi with all the surprise twists, turns, foul language, sassy women, and brooding men.”

  —Hannah’s Words, on The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant

  “It’s a cozy mystery with a dash of paranormal that has humor, heart, and characters that you will fall in love with from the beginning.”

  —Harlie’s Books, on The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant

  “You will be hard pressed to put it down once you have started.”

  —Mrs. B’s Books, on The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant

  OTHER WORKS BY MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF

  COMING SOON!

  My Pen is Huge (OHellNo, Book 5) ← WOW. WOW. WOW. This cover.

  The Boyfriend Collector, Part 2 ← I’m going to need valium to write this.

  THE ACCIDENTALLY YOURS SERIES

  (Paranormal Romance/Humor)

  Accidentally in Love with…a God? (Book 1)

  Accidentally Married to…a Vampire? (Book 2)

  Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Book 3)

  Accidentally…Evil? (a Novella) (Book 3.5)

  Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Book 4)

  Accidentally…Cimil? (a Novella) (Book 4.5)

  Accidentally…Over? (Series Finale) (Book 5)

  THE FATE BOOK SERIES

  (Standalones/New Adult Suspense/Humor)

  Fate Book

  Fate Book Two

  THE FUGLY SERIES

  (Standalones/Contemporary Romance)

  Fugly

  it’s a fugly life

  THE HAPPY PANTS SERIES

  (Standalones/Romantic Comedy)

  The Happy Pants Café (Prequel)

  Tailored for Trouble (Book 1)

  Leather Pants (Book 2)

  Skinny Pants (Book 3)

  IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC., SERIES

  (Standalones/Paranormal/Humor)

  The Immortal Matchmakers (Book 1)

  Tommaso (Book 2)

  God of Wine (Book 3)

  The Goddess of Forgetfulness (Book 4)

  Colel (Book 5) ← Serious book BUZzzz.

  THE KING SERIES

  (Dark Fantasy)

  King’s (Book 1)

  King for a Day (Book 2)

  King of Me (Book 3)

  Mack (Book 4)

  Ten Club (Series Finale→) OR NOT?

  THE LIBRARIAN’S VAMPIRE ASSISTANT

  (Standalones/Mystery/Humor)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 1)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 2)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 3) ← YOU ARE HERE

  THE MERMEN TRILOGY

  (Dark Fantasy)

  Mermen (Part 1)

  MerMadmen (Part 2)

  MerCiless (Part 3)

  MR. ROOK’S ISLAND SERIES

  (Romantic Suspense)

  Mr. Rook (Part 1)

  Pawn (Part 2)

  Check (Part 3, Finale)

  THE OHELLNO SERIES

  (Standalones/New Adult/Romantic Comedy)

  Smart Tass (Book 1)

  Oh Henry (Book 2)

  Digging A Hole (Book 3)

  Battle of the Bulge (Book 4)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant,

  Book 3

  Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  A Mimi Boutique Novel

  Copyright © 2019 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Kindle Edition

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the writer, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks are not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Cover Design by Earthly Charms

  Developmental Editing by Latoya Smith

  Copyediting and Proof Reading by Pauline Nolet

  Formatting by Paul Salvette

  To Pirated Book Lovers

  “I’m not hurting anyone.”

  “I can’t afford to buy books, so the author isn’t losing money. I’d never buy them anyway.”

  “I don’t think it’s wrong. So many people do it.”

  As an author who is trying to support her family on this income, it’s really difficult to come up with the right words to convey how damaging ebook piracy is to me personally, to my fellow authors, and to the industry. (Remember, publishers HAVE to make money, too. We want them to. They have employees with families like anyone else. They create jobs and pay taxes in our communities. Businesses need to be healthy because when they’re not, people get laid off and lose things like their homes.)

  As for the individual author, well, I just can’t imagine anyone being okay with working for four months at their job on a presentation and then their boss says, “Hey, I’m not going to pay you because I can’t afford it. Also, I know that I used the presentation and you did the work and slaved over it, but I never had the money to pay for it in the first place, so you really haven’t lost any money. Either way, you weren’t going to get paid.”

  Hell no would you put up with that!

  Bottom line is we all have a right to decide how we’re compensated for our work and time. Strangers, the public, and book pirat
e sites don’t have the right to decide for us. It’s okay to have an opinion about what you’re willing to pay for my books or to have a political view about access to books, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to decide for the author or artist.

  As for these sites that claim they’re not doing anything wrong? The sites pirated book lovers go to and think they’re not hurting anyone? We all KNOW THEY ARE.

  What sort of person or organization would put up a website that uses stolen work (or encourages its users to share stolen work) in order to make money for themselves, either through website traffic or direct sales? Haven’t you ever wondered?

  Putting up thousands of pirated books onto a website or creating those anonymous ebook file-sharing sites takes time and resources. Quite a lot, actually.

  So who are these people? Do you think they’re decent, ethical people with good intentions? Why do they set up camp anonymously in countries where they can’t easily be touched? And the money they make from advertising every time you go to their website, or through selling stolen work, what are they using it for? The answer is you don’t know. They could be terrorists, organized criminals, or just greedy bastards. But one thing we DO know is that THEY ARE CRIMINALS who don’t care about you, your family, or me and mine. And their intentions can’t be good.

  And every time YOU illegally share or download a book, YOU ARE BREAKING the law and HELPING these people BREAK THE LAW. You are helping them get paid for my stolen work via web-traffic and ad impressions.

  Meanwhile, people like me, who work to support a family and children, are left wondering why anyone would condone this.

  So please, please ask yourself who YOU are HELPING when you support ebook piracy, and then ask yourself who you are HURTING.

  And for those who legally purchased/borrowed/obtained my work from a reputable retailer (not sure, just ask me!) muchas thank yous! You rock.

  The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by fines and federal imprisonment.

  Dedication

  To chocolate chips.

  Not only do you make cookies better, but you get vampires drunk. And you make really wonderful snowman eyeballs on my Christmas treats.

  CONTENTS

  About the Book

  What Are Tasty Humans Saying About The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant Series?

  Other Works by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  To Pirated Book Lovers

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Author’s Note

  Free Signed Bookmarks!

  Acknowledgement

  Coming Soon

  About the Author

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant

  Book Three

  CHAPTER ONE

  “Can you repeat that? You’re a what?” Miriam’s eyes widen as she maintains a calm façade from the comfort of her brown leather couch. We are surrounded by thousands of books, three stories high, all overlooking her spacious living room, and I cannot help feeling judged by each and every one of them. Not that books actually judge anyone, but they simply have that conceited vibe. It is what I love about them.

  “I think you heard me,” I respond. “I am standing two feet away.”

  “Michael,” Miriam frowns with a huff, “you can’t be serious.”

  “I’m afraid I am, Miriam. I am a vampire.” I stand over her, my chin held high as I stare down at her lopsided dirty-blonde bun, which I have come to adore along with her shabby sweaters, though today she has on gray sweats and a T-shirt. Now that the cat—or shall I say bat?—is out of the cave, I’m guessing things will finally start making sense to her.

  Which things? you wonder.

  Given the abundance of unusual events that occur when in the presence of vampires, I wouldn’t know where to begin. Perhaps she wonders how I always manage to catch her when she falls from the ladder in her library even if I’m halfway across the room. Clumsy little thing. Or maybe she has always sensed something is a little off with the company I keep. Vampires can be quite eccentric.

  I focus on Miriam’s oval face, waiting for her reaction. She is a smart, inquisitive woman and will have many questions, I’m sure.

  Suddenly, her cheeks turn from a rosy pink to a pasty white.

  Uh-oh. I think she is going to scream. Perhaps I have been too indelicate with the delivery of my shocking news. It is not every day that someone in your employ tells you they are a four-hundred-year-old, fanged killing machine—a fact I have somehow managed to keep from her, my boss. Of course, merely looking at me, one only sees what I show them: a twenty-year-old college student living on the budget of a part-time assistant librarian. I would also add that I am six one with dark brown eyes and hair and have been told I am a shockingly handsome man. I mean, handsome vampire.

  And handsome a-hole. Dammit, you fool. Why did you have to blurt out the truth to Miriam like that? I watch in horror as her face changes colors like a mood ring, landing on a fiery red. She is either about to have a panic attack or turn into a ripe tomato.

  Excellent work, you bastard. Upsetting my precious librarian is the last thing I need right now, because while the past month has been hell on Earth—my maker being murdered, me being forced to take leadership of two large territories (including this one here in hellishly sunny Arizona), and being falsely accused of running a vampire blood farm—nothing compares to the news I just received from Lula, my right hand, two minutes ago. It is the reason I decided to come clean with Miriam. I had no other choice given how impossible it will be to conceal the truth any longer. A war is coming, and I have been tapped to lead.

  But how can the generals name me, of all people, the vampire king? Yes, I am a second-generation vampire, which makes me stronger than most. I am also a seasoned soldier and trained assassin who once fought to bring an end to the violent, tribal existence of my kind. But that was long, long ago, and since then I have been many different things: a hunter, an English professor, a barber, a detective, and a bioengineer, just to name a few.

  And now you are an assistant librarian who may or may not be incredibly attracted to his boss. All right, yes, yes. I cannot stay away from her. I want to bed her in the worst kind of way. And my need to protect her body, mind, and soul, with all that I am, gnaws at my immortal heart, day and night, though I cannot say why.

  Why her?

  Many females have crossed my path over four centuries, yet she is the one I am drawn to. She is the reason I can say without shame that I am not meant to be a king. I am meant to be by her accident-prone side, playing with her delicious books.

  Ah…such a tantalizing collection. I salivate at the thought of touching her first editions. Not only does Miriam have her private collection right here in her home, but she also owns a library near downtown Phoenix, twenty minutes away. A woman with so many books is too sexy for words. In short, after all that I have done for my kind, they cannot rob me of the only thing I have ever truly wanted: a librarian to call home.

  I wince as she doubles over on her brown leather couch. Poor woman. Be strong. We will get through this together. I will keep her safe from not only her extreme clumsiness, but from the violence of my world.

  I lean down and rest my hand on her back. “I realize this is a lot to take in, but you must know I will do everything in…” My voice fades as I note her ji
ggling shoulders.

  What the devil? I scowl down at my blonde little librarian. “Miriam, do not laugh. This is not a joke. I’m a vampire, over four centuries old.”

  She sits upright, gives me a serious look, and then falls forward again, unable to stop laughing.

  I shake my head and cross my arms over my chest. I’m wearing jeans, Converse, and a Captain America T-shirt today. Ridiculous outfit. But it is vampire law that one must dress according to the age they look and according to their profession in the human world—a sort of camouflage to avoid drawing attention. However, at the moment, I feel silly trying to have a serious conversation with a superhero logo on my chest. What am I? Twelve? I am not much for shopping, but I will have to stop grabbing T-shirts from the bargain bin at Target.

  “Miriam, listen to me. We have to leave here. It is no longer safe for me, which means it is perilous for you.”

  Wiping the tears from the delicate skin of her cheeks, Miriam rights herself again. Her cupid-bow lips twitch with a grin. “I always knew you could make me laugh, but…” she lets out a happy sigh, “I really needed a good chuckle.” She hops to her feet, places her hands on my shoulders, and beams up at me. “Thank you.”

  I cannot believe she thinks this is a joke. What we are facing could make a grown vampire weep. Not me, of course. Because I am Michael Vanderhorst. Son of Cluentius Boethius, a first-generation vampire, which makes me a sort of prince.

  “Michael?” Miriam snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Are you even listening to me?”

  Nope. I am too busy fuming. “Miriam, I appreciate how outlandish my confession seems, but I swear on my life that I really am a vam—”

  “Bup!” She holds up a small hand. “No need to continue the comedy act.”

  Everyone knows she is special to me, which means she’s about to become the target of every savage vampire around the globe. Ergo, Miriam Murphy has just become my biggest liability in winning this war. Nowhere near close to comedy.

  A twitch of dread pulses deep in my stomach. Dammit, man. Stop it. You’ve fought in the Great Vampire War. You’ve slayed thousands of deadly, evil vampires. You are Michael Vanderhorst! I win at everything I do, despite the obstacles. It is what makes me a legend, feared by the masses.