VAMPIRE MAN (The Librarian's Vampire Assistant Book 6) Read online

  “No!” Brandi’s little nostrils flare, and her cheeks turn red. “One must do what’s right.”

  I stand from the breakfast table. “And according to you, what is that? Die before I’m ready? Grow old in this big house alone?”

  “I don’t have the answers, but I know you can’t lie and hijack someone else’s life, their happiness, for your own. You get to live the life that’s given to you.” She sighs. “That’s it. You take the punches with the wins.”

  She stares at my lips, and I find myself staring at hers.

  “And what sort of wins are you looking for?” I ask.

  She says nothing. I’m suddenly thinking about grabbing her and “winning” with her on the table. I’m thinking about putting my mouth on her neck and kissing my way south. I love pushing boundaries, and with her, everything is a boundary.

  Before I can process what’s happening, I’m stepping around the table, about to go for it.

  Wait. What am I doing? She is a virgin, and I am not about to change that. Not that there’s anything wrong with taking what I want, as a vampire should, but it simply wouldn’t feel right.

  OTHER WORKS BY MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF

  COMING SOON!

  Baby, Please (OHellNo, #7) ← Yummy football player with a baby, anyone?

  God of Temptation (The Immortal Matchmakers, Finale) ← For real this time!

  Lord King (King Series #7) ← Will King find Mia?

  Ultra Mega Love ← What could this be?

  THE ACCIDENTALLY YOURS SERIES

  (Paranormal Romance/Humor)

  Accidentally in Love with…a God? (Book 1)

  Accidentally Married to…a Vampire? (Book 2)

  Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Book 3)

  Accidentally…Evil? (Novella, Book 3.5)

  Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Book 4)

  Accidentally…Cimil? (Novella, Book 4.5)

  Accidentally…Over? (FINALE, Book 5)

  THE BOYFRIEND COLLECTOR DUET

  (New Adult/Suspense)

  The Boyfriend Collector, Part 1

  The Boyfriend Collector, Part 2

  FANGED LOVE

  (Standalone/Paranormal/Humor)

  THE FATE BOOK DUET

  (New Adult/Humor)

  Fate Book

  Fate Book Two

  THE FUGLY DUET

  (Contemporary Romance)

  fugly

  it’s a fugly life

  THE HAPPY PANTS SERIES

  (Standalones/Romantic Comedy)

  The Happy Pants Café (Prequel)

  Tailored for Trouble (Book 1)

  Leather Pants (Book 2)

  Skinny Pants (Book 3)

  IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC., SERIES

  (Standalones/Paranormal/Humor)

  The Immortal Matchmakers (Book 1)

  Tommaso (Book 2)

  God of Wine (Book 3)

  The Goddess of Forgetfulness (Book 4)

  Colel (Book 5)

  Brutus (Book 6)

  God of Temptation (Finale) ← 2021!

  THE KING SERIES

  (Dark Fantasy/Suspense)

  King’s (Book 1)

  King for a Day (Book 2)

  King of Me (Book 3)

  Mack (Book 4)

  Ten Club (Book 5)

  The Dead King (Book 6)

  Lord King (Book 7) ← Coming Soon!

  Never King’s (Book 8) ← Coming 2022

  THE LIBRARIAN’S VAMPIRE ASSISTANT

  (Standalones/Mystery/Humor)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 1)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 2)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 3)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 4)

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant (Book 5)

  Vampire Man (Book 6) ← You are here!

  THE MERMEN TRILOGY

  (Dark Fantasy/Suspense)

  Mermen (Part 1)

  MerMadmen (Part 2)

  MerCiless (Part 3)

  MR. ROOK’S ISLAND TRILOGY

  (Contemporary/Suspense)

  Mr. Rook (Part 1)

  Pawn (Part 2)

  Check (Part 3)

  THE OHELLNO SERIES

  (Standalones/New Adult/Romantic Comedy)

  Smart Tass (Book 1)

  Oh Henry (Book 2)

  Digging A Hole (Book 3)

  Battle of the Bulge (Book 4)

  My Pen is Huge (Book 5)

  Wine Hard, Baby (Book 6)

  Baby, Please (Book 7) ← COMING SOON!

  SUITE #45 SERIES by M.O. MACK

  (Thriller/Suspense/Action)

  She’s Got the Guns (Book 1)

  She’s Got the Money (Book 2)

  WISH, a Standalone Novel

  (Romantic Comedy)

  VAMPIRE MAN

  The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant Series

  Book 6

  MIMI JEAN PAMILOFF

  A Mimi Boutique Novel

  Copyright © 2021 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Kindle Edition

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the writer, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks are not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Cover Design: Earthly Charms

  Developmental Editing: Stephanie Elliot

  Copyediting and Proof Reading: Pauline Nolet

  Formatting: Paul Salvette

  VAMPIRE MAN

  CONTENTS

  About the Book

  Other Works by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Author’s Note

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  CHAPTER ONE

  “Nope. Nuh-uh. No way. I’m not going to tell Mr. Nice. You tell him,” says Dr. Kleen from his office, unaware that the door is ajar. I can hear the damned fool all the way in the waiting room even with my human ears.

  Yes, that is correct. Human ears. I am an ancient deadly vampire, now trapped in a human shell. Bleh! I loathe being so weak and slow moving with all these squishy warm parts.

  But perhaps
I have gotten ahead of myself due to my rather unpleasant, rapidly evolving medical situation. Allow me to make proper introductions.

  My name is Nicephorus, better known in the vampire world as Mr. Nice. My cruelty, strength, and outrageous behavior are the things of legends. The mere mention of my name sends the deadliest creatures running for the hills. At least, it used to.

  The conversation inside the royal vampire physician’s office continues, and I hold my breath to listen.

  “You, sir, are the head of the rehumanization project. You will deliver the news, or I will call the king and have you punished.” And that would be Michael Vanderhorst speaking to Dr. Kleen. Vanderhorst is my vampire caretaker. We have a very long history, he and I, none of it pleasant. I plan to murder him soon.

  As for this “rehumanization” project, I am certain you are wondering what this is. A fair question. I will get to the answer in a moment, after I ascertain what is happening.

  It cannot be good news. I have spent three weeks here in Cincinnati at vampire headquarters, being poked and prodded in the basement lab. They assured me they would find a solution for my predicament, but it appears they have failed. I should have known not to trust the bastards. Especially Vanderhorst.

  I mentally double down on my plan to pluck out his innards for what he has done, a plan I will keep concealed until the right moment. At present, I need him, and he must believe I am a different person. A changed man.

  Of course, a leopard cannot change its spots. Even if I could, I would not wish to. I like being evil. I revel in the destruction of my foes because I understand one very important fact: The world is made up of two types of creatures, and only two. Those who hunt, and those who are eaten.

  I do not know about you, my friends, but I prefer a full belly.

  I stand and walk to the office door, leaning my ear toward the crack so I do not miss a single word of the conversation.

  “Nice and I have a unique relationship,” Vanderhorst says. “He doesn’t seem to trust me, which is why he needs to hear the news from a neutral party.”

  “You want me,” says Kleen, “to tell the meanest vampire ever to walk the earth that we can’t help him?”

  Can’t help me? My gut feels heavy and tight all of a sudden. I place a hand atop my black T-shirt, over the ache, and continue eavesdropping.

  Vanderhorst groans. “He can’t hurt you. You’ve seen the bloodwork for yourself. He’s no longer a vampire. And we all know he can’t remember who he was. No one who’s been given the cure can! To them, their vampire lives never happened. Hell, Nice thinks he’s a five-year-old kid!”

  What fools they are to believe that their little vampirism cure would erase my memories. Unlike the other patients, I remember everything! No silly cure could wipe away who I was born to be. Rotten. Bloodthirsty. Powerful. Mr. Nice!

  And for the record, I do not have the mind of a small child. I simply allow them to believe that because I do not want to reveal I am unchanged on the inside—all part of my master plan. World domination!

  It is also worth noting I have the body of a spectacularly fit twenty-five-year-old male of the modern age. The vitamin supplements, protein shakes, and copious amounts of nutritious meals—lean meats, salads, fresh fruits—have proven successful. My new and improved physique is also part of my master plan.

  What was not part of it is that I have only been human for five years. Yes, infant body to grown-man body in five years.

  Confusing?

  You would be correct about that. It is the very reason I am here at vampire headquarters being treated like a lab rat. It is the mystery Vanderhorst is discussing with the royal physician. Why am I aging so fast?

  Obviously, we do not know, but we do understand what triggered it: Five years ago, Michael Vanderhorst discovered the cure for vampirism, and I, an ancient vampire, took the first dose.

  All right. I stole the first dose.

  All right, all right. Technically I stole the first fifty doses. I had my reasons. Unfortunately, I was unaware that the vial I drank was meant to be given one drop at a time to one vampire at a time.

  I consumed the entire thing.

  And that was where the next chapter of my three-hundred-year-long life began. The cure not only removed all traces of vampire blood from my body, but it reverted my human cells back to the equivalent of a two-month-old baby. Baby Nice they called me. Me! A deadly villain.

  But the suffering did not end there. Oh no, my friends.

  Due to my exorbitantly cruel reputation, no vampire would take me in.

  So there I was, unwanted with a fat little baby body, unable to feed or change myself. As the idiot gods of fate would have it, the only vampire willing to house me was Vanderhorst, the man I blame for all this. The man who stole the love of my life, Miriam. The man who keeps getting in the way of my master plan. World domination!

  And until today, I merely considered my body situation a detour. I’d planned to live as a human until adulthood and then find a vampire to turn me. The do-over I always wanted with a new sexy body! Mr. Nice two point oh-yes-please.

  Well, except…clearly my plans have encountered a roadblock.

  The doctor continues, “Sir, I honestly think we should wait to tell him. I have ten different scientists out in the field, collecting data on everyone who’s taken the cure. We’re only just beginning to understand the long-term effects and—”

  “And what?” Vanderhorst snaps. “You wish to give him false hope? There is no time for that! He must hear the truth—the facts as we know them today. And he needs to hear it from you.”

  “I don’t know…” says the doctor with a groan.

  “Fine. Then I’ll go do—Nice, how long have you been standing here?” Vanderhorst appears in the doctor’s doorway, staring up at me. I am taller than him by several inches at a godlike six feet three.

  “Oh, not long, Dad.” God, how I hate calling him that. Miriam insisted on us being a family, but simply because a man changes your diapers, applies bandages to your boo-boos, midnight feeds you, and cares for you as his own does not make him your father!

  “Why don’t you come inside, son, and have a seat.” Vanderhorst gestures for me to enter Dr. Kleen’s office. I do not like the way he is looking at me. Dark pity-filled eyes.

  I enter, and a sense of gnawing dread pushes through my entrails. It’s a windowless room filled with bookshelves, diplomas, and a desk cluttered with Star Wars figures. Dr. Kleen was turned around the age of thirteen or fourteen. He never let go of his youth, even though he’s about a century old.

  I sit and wait for one of the two men to speak, my glorious head of dark long waves toggling back and forth.

  Vanderhorst clears his throat and scratches his unshaven jaw. “Son, do you remember our conversation before we came here, about why your body is so much bigger than the other children your age?”

  I put on my stupid hat, part of my façade. “You mean, why I had to stop going to the playground?” That place was vile. There had been no hope of gaining a six-pack on such equipment.

  “Yes, son.” Vanderhorst smiles with affection. Affection I will shove up his ass one day. “That’s right. And now the doctors have run all the tests to tell us what is wrong.”

  “What’s wrong with me, Dad?” I say, feigning childlike fear.

  “You don’t remember this, but you were like me once. A vampire. And vampires are created by an organism that changes our bodies. And five years ago, you took a special medicine—just like I told you before. You don’t remember any of it because the medicine makes you forget. Are you following?”

  Get on with it, you putz! Before I tear off your lips. “Yes, Dad.”

  “Good, because what I’m going to say will be difficult to…to…”

  Dear vampire gods. Are his eyes actually filling with tears? How could my Miriam marry this wimp over me? I will have to show her what a real man looks like and steal her back!

  Vanderhorst sucks in a deep bre
ath and continues, “We can’t stop your aging. I am very, very sorry.” He hangs his head and stares at the floor.

  If I were a fool, I would believe his act; however, I have been around for far too long. Vanderhorst couldn’t be happier to get rid of me.

  “I-I don’t know what I’m going to tell your mother.” Vanderhorst turns into a blubbering fool. “Miriam loves you so much.”

  Blood mingles with his tears, and suddenly my heart is beating faster. I have never seen a vampire cry bloody tears. It is said that it only happens when a vampire loses a piece of their soul forever.

  I start looking for the red food coloring. Surely, he must have a bottle hidden in his hand.

  “I am so sorry, sir.” Dr. Kleen pats his shoulder. “I promise we won’t give up looking for answers.”

  Vanderhorst’s chest jerks with a hiccup. “Thank you, Dr. Kleen.”

  I cannot believe these two and their theatrics. They are very good at pretending to care for me. But aren’t all vampires excellent actors?

  “Dad, I have a question,” I say.

  “Yes, son?” He drags his fist across his cheek, mopping up the tears.

  “Can’t you turn me into a vampire again? It would stop my aging, right?”

  Vanderhorst looks at me with wide dark eyes, and the doctor follows suit.

  Suddenly, the gravity of the situation hits. Something is wrong. Something else I have not planned for.

  Standing over me, Vanderhorst places his hands on my shoulders. “I am sorry, but I cannot turn you. By order of the king, any vampire who gives you their blood will be put to death. He thinks you are destined to be evil again.” Vanderhorst looks away, the red tears reaching his crisp white collar.

  For the first time in my long existence, I feel confused. “You’re-you’re saying I will never be a vampire again?”

  Vanderhorst looks down at the floor again, unable to face me. “No. And with the speed of your aging, you will be dead within a year.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  I have less than twelve months to live? And according to their calculations, I have but a few weeks remaining before my sublime, masculine body begins to deteriorate into a wrinkled piece of man-jerky.